A Letter of Encouragement for the Young Wife

Dear Young Wives,

I believe that we have an important job to do.

Our society tells us that getting married young is crazy, irresponsible, and inhibiting.

But I believe – as I imagine you do too – that marriage is a gift. It’s fun and wonderful and challenging and fun. Oh, I already said that.

We have a job to do – a job to grab marriage by the horns and do it well.


Because people are watching.

Hey young wife, let me offer you some encouragement. Being a young wife is hard & sometimes discouraging. The world has so much to say about who we should be and how we should spend our "prime" years. But we're called to live in a way unlike that of the world. Life as a young wife has deep meaning! Find encouragement and practical application here!

No, I don’t believe that we must be perfect or convincing.

Rather, marriage is designed to showcase God’s relationship to the church. What if we had a generation of married millennials showcasing God’s love, promises, favor, and sacrifice?

What if we were able to answer back to society not with frustration for their lack of acceptance, but with a marriage that makes others want to know what is different?

This job we have – yeah, it’s important.

This job has the potential to change minds, to impact hearts, to save souls.

It takes married couples willing to stand against the crowd – willing to demonstrate to the world just how life changing this Jesus love is.

And when your marriage is thriving because it functions from Jesus love?

That’s a statement worth making.

So how do we take this job seriously? How do we make sure that our marriages are making a statement of Jesus love?

Here are 13 ways to be married in this world, but have a marriage totally unlike this world:

Be a servant. To your spouse, your friends, your church, your family. With a happy heart, a willing hand, and a generous spirit. Be a servant.

Know what you believe. About marriage, about the Bible, about your faith.

Be bold & take a stand. Don’t back down. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s in our boldest moments that Jesus shines the brightest.

Show emotion. Share your heart with other married friends. Never pretend to have it all together. Let your real show.

Share your burdens. You should never be the only one who knows about your marriage. Find another trusted couple and share your heart, your dreams, your fears, and your struggles. Be honest. Pray together.

Claim Scriptural truth. Speak it over your marriage and your future. Hold fast to the truths of the Bible, and remember them when the world tries to sway you.

Practice dying to yourself daily. And ask God to mold your heart into one of humility in the process.

Hey young wife, let me offer you some encouragement. Being a young wife is hard & sometimes discouraging. The world has so much to say about who we should be and how we should spend our "prime" years. But we're called to live in a way unlike that of the world. Life as a young wife has deep meaning! Find encouragement and practical application here!

Let others be themselves. In other words, give grace. Don’t try to change your spouse. Join with them in submitting to Christ’s work in their heart.

Practice gratitude. Give things away. Give money away. Give time away. Be generous together.

Think deeply. Take the time to ponder the Bible, your faith, your marriage, your purpose.

Love others well. As a couple and as an individual, choose love constantly.

Commit. Need I say more?

Never settle for stagnant standing. Always work toward growth. Be about the change of your own heart. Pray for the heart change of others.

Will you join me, young wife? Maybe you’ve been discouraged by the comments from friends, family, or random grocery store encounters. Maybe you’ve wondered why you decided to get married young anyway.

There’s a reason and that reason is important.

Your marriage showcases the gospel to the world. What an honor! What a privilege!

Marriage truly is a gift – one that keeps on giving as we see the world think about the gospel just a little bit differently.

Be about that today. Let your marriage shine – even if you are young!

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12 thoughts on “A Letter of Encouragement for the Young Wife

  1. Very wise words once again, Alison.
    I love the list! Great ideas for all of us – young and not as young!
    I’m sharing this one today!
    Hope you have a restful weekend~

  2. I completely agree. Rev and I have been so blessed. We look at each other daily and just praise God. We know He is the One who made what we enjoy. It’s funny, too often people look at lists like yours and think they stifle the individual when the opposite is true. Marriage done that way is as you said, “fun!” Great post again!!

    1. Amen! I’m so glad I have a friend who just “gets” this way of thinking. I’m blessed by you constantly, Deb!

  3. Such great wisdom here, Alison! Each of these suggestions are spot-on and can create a marriage that will thrive. Praying for all the young wives who read this and take these suggestions into their hearts and act upon them!!!
    Many hugs,

  4. Not only is this a great list – for any marriage – but I love the opening idea – that marriage is made to reflect God’s relationship with us, with his church. This is a perspective that I want to pass onto my kids as they head towards marriage one day.

    1. I’m thankful for parents & in-laws who have done just that. Your children will be blessed by that perspective from you! Thanks for commenting, Belinda. 🙂

  5. I became a wife at 17 and now almost a year later we still get people saying that we must have got married due to a baby (we didn’t we waited for marriage) or that we g it married just to have sex wich again isn’t true we’ve been in love since we met almost 11 years ago and we didn’t think we needed to wait for the world’s “ok” age to establish our family. Do you have any advice on how to deal with these negative comments? We are also struggling with infertility and it’s hard to hear that I must have been pregnant knowing that it is next to impossible

    1. Hi Peighton! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve received such negative feedback about marriage. I don’t think age matters much in marriage, as long as you are both committed to the Lord and one another. However, the negative feedback is a reality I guess, as unfortunate as it is. My advice would be to listen with an ear to understand their concerns, rather than push back with your opinion. No, I don’t think you should allow their opinions to sway your decision if you believe God has established your marriage. But I do think loving others in the midst of differing opinions is a powerful showcase of the gospel – and it can be done when we choose to listen to their heart of concern rather than with ears of combat. I hope this makes sense. 🙂 I’d also say to cling to Jesus, because if your marriage is rooted & grounded in Christ, it cannot be shaken. Seek the Lord’s approval alone, and in doing so, He will comfort your heart and guide you into more wisdom about dealing with others.

      I’m also sorry to hear about the infertility. That is so painful, and I pray that the Lord will guide you, comfort you, and give you peace. In the midst of pain and uncertainty, God knows all things. He sees the pain, He sees the hurts, and He surrounds us with love. Pain isn’t easy, but it is purposeful. So, take heart, because the Lord is doing a mighty work in you. <3

  6. I LOVE THIS! I saw the picture for this post, and it spoke to me immediately. “We have a job to do? What is it?” Yes, yes, yes to everything in this blog post. We MUST show the world what it is to be married in Christ! Thank you so much for this post. I’m printing it out to keep in my office!

    1. Carisa, I love your comment! Thanks for taking the time to share with me. It’s always a blessing to know God gives my words to the right people at the right time!

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