A Letter to the Woman Feeling Rejected & Alone

Shannon Geurin is a fierce soul with a hunger for authentic friendship and sweet laughter. I walked away from our dinner at The Cheesecake Factory refueled and encouraged, because her stories and her laughter are as real as can be. Ever felt rejected? Shannon has. She’s here today to bless your socks off with a letter. Welcome, Shannon. Sure do love you, my friend.


A Letter to the Woman Feeling Rejected | AlisonTiemeyer.com

Hey Girl,

I feel you. I really do. And I bet there’s not a girl out there who would say she’s never felt rejected or alone. It happens to all of us at one point or another.

I got a call one morning that completely rocked my world. I was dripping wet from the shower I had just taken. The person on the other end and I talked for about 10 minutes, but I hardly heard anything she said after the first couple of minutes.

Honestly it’s all a blur now.

After I clicked “end” on my phone, I took my heart-broken, rejected, and jilted body to my bed and slumped down under the covers. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

I was kicked out.
Not wanted.
Misunderstood.
De-valued.

But most of all I was feeling rejected.

And there was not one thing I could do about it.

It was over.

It was one of the worst feelings of my life. Even though I sort of saw it coming, when it actually happened it completely knocked the wind out of me. And it couldn’t have come at the worst possible time. It was the day after my Grandfather died and two days before his funeral.

I don’t want to go into details simply because I whole-heartedly and genuinely want to protect those involved, but it was something that I had a passion for. I was honored to be involved because it was making an impact. It was worthwhile and influential and lives were being changed including my own. But within 10 minutes, just like that, I was out.

I don’t know what you’re going through or why you’re feeling rejected or misunderstood. But I want you to know that it’s going to be okay.

God is on your side.

Now hang on, sis. When I say God is on your side, I don’t mean that he has taken sides and picked yours. No, that’s not what I’m saying. Because you see, God is on everyone’s side. He’s cool like that. He loves every one of us, no matter what.

So when I say He was on my side, He was there, picking me up, comforting me, and reassuring me that it was going to be okay.

You still have purpose.

No matter what you’re going through, or what someone else does to you, God has a purpose for you and for your life. He has a plan. At the time I was so devastated by what had happened I was sure there was no longer a purpose for me. I felt like it had been taken away, because I was sure I was in my sweet spot.

Ever feel that way? Yeah, it’s a hard thing to go through. It took me a really long time to heal and move on, but I did with God’s help. There is a beautiful purpose for you on the other side of rejection – always remember that!

There is a beautiful purpose for you on the other side of rejection. #encouragement Click To Tweet

You have to forgive.

Forgive those that try to harm you and forgive those that think they’re doing the right thing. But why in the world do we have to forgive others, especially when they have hurt us so much? Let’s be honest. This just sucks, doesn’t it? Sorry girls, life is hard.

We have to do the hard things in order for us to grow and develop in to who we’re supposed to be.

I know that the person who rejected me felt she was doing the right thing. I also believe that she felt she was doing what God wanted her to do. This is a hard thing for me to understand. But, the thing is, it’s not for me to understand. Sometimes those that harm us feel they are doing the right thing. Sometimes their heart is in the right place….at least that’s what I believe.

It’s what I had to believe.

Speaking of forgiveness, just because you forgive, doesn’t mean the relationship will go back to the way it was. And that’s okay. You have to be okay with that. I carried guilt and confusion with me for a long time because I used to be very close with this person.

After everything happened, there was just no way for us go back to the way it was before. The details and circumstances just wouldn’t allow it, and I had to learn that it was okay. I was confused by this because I thought that the only way I would know if I had forgiven her was if we became close friends again. Through the wise counsel of someone who I could trust, I realized this wasn’t the case.

5 Ways to Move On When You’re Feeling Rejected:

1. Wish them well.

Want good things for them. Pray for them. Forgive them even when you do not understand.

Hope for them.

2. Believe that they have the best of intentions.

This one is hard – I get that. I’ll be honest, I don’t even know how to accurately explain how to do it. I just know it’s important.

As I was writing this, it took me what seemed like hours to figure this one out and I just couldn’t. I still can’t. Some things we just don’t get, or maybe it’s just giving the benefit of the doubt.

Just believe that they have the best of intentions and move on.

A Letter to the Woman Feeling Rejected | AlisonTiemeyer.com

3. Be teachable.

Have a teachable spirit. Ask God what it is that He wants you to learn. I firmly believe that the things in life we go through can either cripple us to catapult us into a stronger, wiser person if we allow it. Put away your pride and reflect on what you could have done differently. You will be wiser for it.

The hard things we go through can either cripple us or catapult us into stronger people.… Click To Tweet

4. Let go.

Let go of wanting to be understood. Quit fretting and stewing over it because honestly it’s not worth it.

HELLO. This is the worst, because really, we all just want to be understood. Especially those of us that may have a hard time communicating our feelings.

We.just.want.to.be.understood.

I went over and over in my mind what happened and how I should have or could have responded differently. I felt overwhelmingly misunderstood, but I felt there was nothing I could do about it.

Sometimes silence is the best decision and sometimes silence speaks when words can’t.

5. Be the warrior that’s inside of you.

Because she IS there and she wants to be free. She might be buried deep but I bet you’ll find her if you dig long enough.

Don’t ever give up. You feel rejected I know, but the truth is, you’ve been hand-picked by the One that really matters. He’ll never reject you and He always understands!

So keep your head up girl, and pick up that sword.

Love,

Shannon


Shannon is fun-loving and authentic. She loves big and fierce, and at the top of that love list is Jesus, her husband John and her two daughters, Alex and Averee. She’s a woman who has been rescued and restored and knows how to fight.Β  Shannon believes every woman has a calling and she has a passion to see women everywhere rise up into who God has designed them to be. Although a book is in her future, you can currently read her blog and her story at www.shannongeurin.com.

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