There was a season of time when I was sad – but also happy – every single day. We had just moved 1800 miles across the country three days after our wedding, and I was lonely and sad, but happy and content at the same time. I missed home, my parents, and my friends. But I also loved our new life together, our marriage, and the adventure.
Without knowing what was happening, my man was taking those feelings of sadness and piling them upon himself as one big heap of responsibility.
I didn’t know that he was taking the blame. And he didn’t know that I could feel two contrasting emotions so strongly at the same time.
One day, after a bout of tears and an attempt at explaining myself, I said, “I can have emotions – I can be sad – and it not be about you.”
And a light bulb went off.
Suddenly we both understood what had been happening for months and months. I was feeling big feelings – like any normal woman does. And my husband was trying to fix my sadness – like any normal man does.
It was in that moment that we both learned something incredibly invaluable. We learned that loving well doesn’t mean we hide emotions, but that we remember emotions do not define the state of our marriage.
Young marriage is one big learning curve.
Most of us could probably say that we entered married-life with expectations of constant happiness, fun, and sex. That is not wrong, but it’s only one slice of a monstrous pie.
Marriage is fun, challenging, and exhausting.
Marriage is about communication, sex, and love.
Marriage is late-night Netflix marathons, but it’s also late-night difficult conversations.
Marriage is disagreeing while also trusting.
The first several years of marriage are simply a learning curve. And when we learn to embrace the season and learn with abandon, a thriving love and tender devotion will naturally follow.
How do we embrace the season of learning to love? Walk with me to Lori Schumaker’s blog, a sweet place of hope. I just know you’ll love it there.