Recently, my husband lovingly pointed out that I doubt more than I should.
I doubt my ability as an employee, as a wife, as a friend. I doubt decisions, written words, talents. And most recently – and loudly – I’ve been doubting myself as a blogger.
These doubts of mine are seeds planted in time, watered and fertilized in my weak heart. They take root and all-too-quickly become consuming beliefs.
Only they aren’t true truths, right?
I’ve been believing lies like…
Maybe this isn’t the season to grow and nurture a blog.
Maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer and encourager.
Maybe I should be done and leave the reins to someone else.
Then, I came across Lysa TerKeust’s honest words in her new book, Uninvited.
“Time grows the seeds that are planted, watered, and fertilized. Plant beauty, grow beauty. Plant thorns, grow thorns. Time will allow for either.”
It’s my choice, truly. What am I willing to allow to take root?
I shared all of that in my weekly newsletter last week.
Then, a few hours later, a message landed in my inbox from a blogger believing doubts just like me, but wishing she wasn’t doing so.
“I just started blogging and I am so full of self doubt… I understand and see the truth in what you shared tonight, but how do you do it? How do you plant seeds of beauty in the midst of such self-doubt?”
I responded by saying…
You cling to 2 Timothy 4:17.
“But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me…” (NKJV)
Defeating self-doubt is not about being strong enough, bold enough, or brave enough. It’s about being strong enough to know that we cannot do this on our own. We are told that it is the Lord who will stand with us and strengthen us, because the message of the gospel needs to be preached through God-fearing, faith-clinging people of the King.
Earlier in 2 Timothy 4, it says, “And so I solemnly urge you before God and before Christ Jesus… to preach the Word of God urgently at all times, whenever you get the chance, in season and out, when it is convenient and when it is not. Correct and rebuke your people when they need it, encourage them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God’s Word.” (TLB)Blogger, all the time be feeding your people patiently with God’s Word! Click To Tweet
It is not about our strength or desire. It’s about a calling on our lives and felt in the depths of our hearts. It’s about God speaking through us and being our strength.
You trust in the promise of Ephesians 3:20.
“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.” (MSG)
We do not know how God will use our words – even the raw words that come from the hurt, self-doubting places. He can do anything. He can take our simple sentences and string them into beautiful paragraphs of hope for the momma who needs encouragement, the college gal who needs the gospel, the lonely one who needs to know she is not abandoned.
We don’t always know. But God knows.
And when we believe in the promise that God can do anything – far more than we can imagine, guess, or even think to request – wow, that’s the most empowering truth.
You remind yourself of 1 Corinthians 15:57-58 daily.
“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” (NKJV)
This – this overwhelmingly awesome truth – is enough to quiet our self-doubts because our labor is never in vain when it is done for the Lord.
We can always abound in the work of the Lord, even when we are full of self-doubt and unsure our words are being read by anyone. We can and we should, because victory is given to us through our Abba Father.
Those self-doubts of mine are combatted with this one truth alone.
Maybe this isn’t the season to grow and nurture a blog. Be steadfast, always abounding in the work of the Lord.
Maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer and encourager. God gives me victory through Christ.
Maybe I should be done and leave the reins to someone else. My labor is not in vain in the Lord; be immovable.
Believing and planting seeds of beauty comes from reciting these promises when the doubt creeps in – or screams loud. Speak them out loud. Write them all over your desk or table, wherever you write. Pray them back to the Lord.
I don’t think the self-doubt will ever quit completely this side of future glory. We’re human and utterly fallen.
But, we do have the tools and the truths to combat self-doubt. It’s our choice to take action or let the doubt enter in.
Let’s be action-takers, truth-believers, and bold doubt-defeaters.
P.S. Join a tribe of Christian bloggers longing to defeat the lies & make a difference for the glory of God!
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