There is a steady desire within me to submit to my husband. But as I looked over my man’s shoulder, all I could think was this is not going to be okay.
Our cell phone contract was coming to an end, and my husband wanted to switch to Verizon. Which is no big deal in the slightest except that all cell phone carriers are shockingly expensive.
In my mind, a phone is a phone. You can call and you can text. You can check social media, email and other seemingly important things that, in reality, are not all that important.
Plus, I’m just about the worst text-message-responder and voicemail-returner there ever was – not because I don’t like you, but because it’s a phone. It’s in my pocket, or my purse, or buried and forgotten in my coat pocket.
These thoughts about cell phones are running through my mind as my husband fills the online Verizon cart with upgraded smart phones and x-amount of GBs. I tried to zip my lips and keep my concerns to myself, but every once in a while, a concern would slip out.
“Do we really need 8GB of data?”
“We don’t have to have the newest and greatest, do we?”
“A screen cover? I mean, the screen will be fine, right?”
Most cart additions he made, I questioned. And if I didn’t outright question it, something was burning fiercely hot in my chest making me want to question it.
Unfortunately, this is my nature.
As my husband took care of our cell phone plan, I kept cringing – both outwardly and in my heart.
I wanted to submit to his decision-making and his leadership. I wanted to be excited that he was dealing with the cell phone people and I didn’t have to do any research. But in my heart, I knew – in that moment and today – that I stink at submitting to my husband.
Have you ever looked over your husband’s shoulder & cringed as he purchased something? Or maybe you faintly whispered doubts as he promised for the hundredth time that he’d lead family devotions?I stink at submitting to my #husband. Maybe you do too? Here's some #hope. #marriage Click To Tweet
Eve wasn’t all that submissive either. She wanted to take control, and she did. It didn’t turn out well. The story is right at the beginning of the Scriptures, which is an eye-opening reminder to me that this issue is common, and that trouble submitting as a wife will exist until the day Christ comes back to the earth.
You know Eve’s story. The cunning serpent lied and convinced her to eat the fruit of the one tree in the garden that God told her not to eat. Then, she gave some to Adam. Sin made them brutally aware of their fallenness, so they covered themselves and tried to hide from God. Thus, the first sin took place and humanity – and marriage – has been fallen ever since.
God designed marriage to be full of honor, friendship, love, and grace. He designed marriage to imitate the gospel, to speak truth to the masses, and to showcase His relationship with the church.
And, to be harsh but honest, we ruin that all of the time. We choose selfishness and personal gain. In pride, we wish for our opinions to be heard. We want to make decisions and plan our days and live our own way.
We ruin the opportunity of marriage with the curse of idolatry.
Next comes the part of the story where Eve is told she will stink at submission.
Genesis 3:16: “To the woman He said: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you will bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (NKJV)
Desire here points to idolatry. We idolize our husbands over the Lord, or we desire the position and headship of our husbands, or we do both.
Sin came in like a crushing wave and destroyed much of our ability to submit to our husbands well. We still live in sin, meaning we are far from getting this submission thing right. But we should try anyway.
With our marriages, we should aim to live better, to love in gospel-centered ways, and to show the world the best possible example of Christ.
How do we do this?
We worship the Lord when we wish to idolize our
This is the root of the issue – our worship. What are we worshipping?
I pray that I’m not worshipping my opinion or the ability to disagree. I also pray that I’m not running after control or choosing distrust in my marriage.
May we run to the cross – leaving idolized authority in the background and jumping into the arms of a worthy Father. He is able to work in us and make us new.
The next time you or I are breathing down our husband’s neck about the cell phone bill, the gas tank that’s all but drained empty, or the issue on which we don’t see eye-to-eye, let’s stop and praise.
As my husband clicked ‘confirm’ on the new cell-phone plan, I praised. I thanked God for a husband who was willing to research the best carrier, for the ability to pay for a cell-phone plan, and for the countless ways God has blessed us recently.
I didn’t do it perfectly. In fact, I barely did it well. But I tried. Try with me?The next time I find myself struggling to submit to my #husband, I'm going to #praise God.… Click To Tweet
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