I’m a rusher. I move quickly and rarely stop to pause and don’t often sit still because life, things, to-do lists! Yet in the midst of my rushing, I also long for a surrendered heart – a heart surrendered to Christ and His plan and His purposes.
These two parts of myself – the rushing and the longing for surrender – don’t seem compatible. In fact, they are not compatible.
Too often, I find my salvation in finished lists and accomplished tasks. And when life isn’t perfectly tied up in a bow and my lists run much too long, I struggle to find grace for myself. Instead, I rush some more. Always rushing.
Recently, I was given an opportunity – a mighty big, important-sounding opportunity. I thought through this opportunity not with my heart. Instead, I used my head, my logic, and I almost offered a resounding yes.
When I stopped – when I paused and quit the mad rushing – I realized in my soul that this opportunity would be more like a time-filler. And who doesn’t have enough time fillers?We don’t need more time-fillers. We need hearts surrendered. Click To Tweet
I believe we all find ourselves wanting to do big, grand, honorable things for the Lord. We tell ourselves that we can add something more to the limited schedule and give away something more of our limited energy. But when we stop the rushing – when we give in to the quiet and rest our souls – we find that it isn’t about the schedule at all.
It’s not about the schedule, but we offer our schedules to the Lord more often than we offer our hearts.
We pray for our time to be molded by the Creator.
We ask for opportunities to be His witness and His love.
We seek time-fillers and schedule-fillers and appointments with hopeful outcomes.
Not one of these things is bad. But do we first offer God our hearts? Plain and simple?
Because, let’s be real here, God can do infinitely more than we could ask or imagine if we just surrender ourselves – our plain and simple hearts.
Why don’t we do this? Why do we guard our hearts but freely give away our schedules?
The answer is rooted in fear, I do believe.
Fear of what others will think if we say no.
Fear of missing out on future opportunities.
Fear of pursuing something that we aren’t sure we should pursue.
Fear of being deeply known and possibly rejected.
Fear because we don’t know what will happen when we give God all of us.
We hide and we give in to the fear. It’s what I’ve been doing for some time now. And I believe it’s time to be done. It’s time to throw fear to the wind and step into full surrender.
It may hurt. I mean, when is surrender ever pain-free?
I think of 2 Corinthians 4:16: “Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”
The outside pain of surrender points to the inward renewal of our heart.
But how can we be renewed without first giving God access to our heart?
I believe our prayer should be, “Here’s my heart, Lord” rather than the habitual, “Here’s my schedule, Lord.”
In giving Him our hearts, we also give him our schedules. And our time. And our money. And our talents. And our concerns.
Everything is rooted in our heart – in the depth of who we are – so giving Him our hearts makes room to surrender everything else – quite literally.
The opportunity that I had seemed so important, but after the surrendering it became a no. Because when I sat with a surrendered heart, I realized that my surrendered schedule was already full. My surrendered energy was nearly depleted. My surrendered logic was previously betraying me. The answer had to be a no.
I never would have arrived at that place without a surrendered heart. Today, no matter your schedule and your obligations, start first with… “Here’s my heart, Father.”
Everything else will follow.