I sat in the doctor’s office for the umpteenth time.
Can I please have some answers today, God? Please?
And in walks the doctor with his white coat and a cool grin. “Well, I’m happy to say that everything looks normal!”
I kept my calm while I smiled and nodded. Then I left that cold office and burst into tears.
Lord, do you even hear me? I’m asking you for something!
Alright, God. I trust you. I do. But I’m really struggling to understand why you haven’t answered my prayers.
Please, Lord, please. An answer. A fix. Something that will make this pain and sickness go away.
Have you uttered one of these prayers? Felt desperate enough to scream at God? Wondered why you never feel okay?
I’m with you, friend.
I’ve been in the place of no answers and lots of fear. And my heart has struggled.
I wish I could say something else. I wish I could say that I was able to place the burden in the hands of our mighty God and choose to stop fighting the never-ending battle. But I haven’t reached that place yet. I’ve tried.
And you want to know what this ongoing pain has taught me?
That my faith is incredibly fragile.
It makes me wonder – if I had an answer, would my faith somehow be strengthened? Would I resolve to trust completely in the Lord and never doubt, never waver?
But also maybe not.
So what can we do in this place of fragile faith?
First, we must acknowledge that we’re in this place of fragile faith. Yes, God already knows our heart, but sometimes admitting it to ourselves is the hardest part.
Maybe you’re bearing the burden of unanswered pain. Maybe you’re struggling in the deep with a scary diagnosis. Maybe you’re trying to muster up the courage to get out of bed today. Whatever your burden, would you admit with me that challenges like this can knock our faith right in the gut and push it aside?
I’m not saying that faith is absent. I’m saying it’s fragile. And I’m also saying that when we choose to acknowledge it, we can in turn take the next few steps.
You might be saying, seriously, who does she think she is? I can’t embrace fragile faith.
May I remind you that Jesus talks about having faith the size of a mustard seed? He says in Matthew 17, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
A mustard seed is tiny. And with his words, Jesus is allowing us to embrace the reality of fragile, small faith.
Acknowledging it and embracing it are incredibly important. However, we should not be content to remain in this place of fragile faith forever. It may come in seasons. It may never fully go away. However, we must be challenging our faith.
This means that we should be searching Scripture for truth, surrounding ourselves with people who love Jesus and want to encourage our hearts, and praying with passion. We need to understand true faith and grow with intention.
If this is an area of difficulty for you, I encourage you to seek guidance from someone you trust. This may be in the form of a Bible study, community group, church service, or friend group. Whoever you choose to seek, do so with the purpose of challenging your faith so that it will grow!
Finally, I would say that we must surrender our fragile faith to the Father. We will never be perfect this side of heaven. We will have broken bodies, broken souls, broken relationships, and broken faith.
Never having an answer & never being healed may be a reality. And this means that fragile faith may be a forever reality until the days of true glory. So, surrender it to the Lord and ask for His help. He will guide and protect, strengthen and provide.
Acknowledge it. Embrace it. Challenge it. Surrender it.
There was nothing easy about that day in the doctor’s office – or the several appointments before that one. There is nothing easy about hoping that a result will be abnormal so you might finally have an answer. And there is certainly nothing easy about waking up the next morning with the same pain in the same place.
There is also nothing easy about taking the four steps listed above. It will hurt. It might take a long time. But the relief that comes – it’s better than any answer this world could offer.
I still don’t have an answer, my friends, just like many of you. My faith suffers awful days and beautiful days. But would you join me in choosing to allow Jesus into the tough of your heart when pain crowds out faith?
Have you experienced a fragile faith? Did you overcome it, and if so, how? Comment & share with me!
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